I’m studying The Abundant Life (John 10.10). While wrapping my head around that concept, I was reminded that we are the Bride of Christ (I don’t know the exact connection either – but there it was).
The Bride of Christ thought segued me into the similarities of marriage and the Christian life.
And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of His wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of His body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. (Eph 5:21-24 NLT)
It seems to me the Christian life is much like married life. When we became a Christian we told everyone, and then as the years passed we learned there is more to the Christian life than bubbly feelings.
When we first ‘fell in love’ (which is not a New Testament concept) we were excited and told everyone about our new experience, this euphoria continued past the wedding but as the years passed, we discovered that there is more to married life than euphoria.
Now, here is where these two ideas really come together (in my head). It’s easy for us married folks to think that our joy/happiness/good-feelings comes from our spouse. The same is true for Christians; we think it is God’s responsibility to keep us happy. For years, I wondered why the New Testament did not say that when I became a Christian God would make me happy. Why doesn’t it say that?
Here is what it does say:
I have loved you as the Father has loved me. Now continue in my love.
I have obeyed my Father’s commands, and he continues to love me. In the same way, if you obey my commands, I will continue to love you. I have told you these things so that you can have the true happiness that I have.
I want you to be completely happy. (John 15.9-11 ERV)
Jesus says, “I want you to be completely happy”, He didn’t say, “I’ll make you completely happy”! How can we be completely happy, by keeping His commandments – by putting something into the arrangement, by doing something. In marriage and in the Christian life, we are as happy as we are willing to ‘do’.
Check this out, why do we love our kids, because they are such ‘dears’ and always make us happy? Not! Because they never step out of bounds? Not! The love we feel for our children is because of what we DO FOR THEM. We pour ourselves into them – thick and thin. The love we feel for our kids does not depend on them, but on us!
It’s the same for a marriage, the love we feel is not a result of what our spouse does (or does not do)! Love is a verb – when we do it we feel it! The choice is ours, not our spouses. The love we feel for our spouse is in direct proportion to what we do for them.
The Christian life is the same, when we put something into being a Christian we feel the love and excitement. Our salvation does not depend on what we do, salvation depends on what Christ did. However, our happiness/euphoria depends on us obeying the commands – to submit to one another, to love one another.
The Christian life is not a 50/50 deal. Christ gave 100%, His life. He died while we were sinners, He had no guarantee that we would accept His gift for us. Married life is the same, we do it (we love) expecting nothing in return, then everything we get back is a gift, a gift that brings those euphoric feelings.
Our feelings/happiness/satisfaction/fulfillment, in marriage and in the Christian life, depends more on what WE DO than on what our spouse (or God) does.
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I know you will share your thoughts on this idea (as you do on other emails) and we will all expand our understanding – I don’t claim to have any corner on the good ideas!
You can comment here, and with permission, I am posing responses to this email on this blog site for others to read. We need all the shared brainpower we can muster on this topic.
6 comments:
(Copied from email)
Ray,
I love my Jesus, He has given me so much hope. I will defend the Christian belief system with my life, my sword and my fortune. I am a life member of the Order of The Knights Templar.
Falcon6
(Copied from email)
Thank you, Ray,
SACRIFICIAL...even in the painful times! We must be true to our vows of love since anything less than our yes being yes (and our no being no) is evil!
Wow! that’s a powerful concept when we apply it to our marriage but that’s how love is since Jesus had to sacrifice His life in order for us to be able to enter into that unity of covenant in being His bride. The Holy Spirit is a PRODUCT of His giving His life in order that we could appear before the Father in the ‘robe of righteousness’ that only Jesus’ sacrificial blood could provide and in order to cover our sins that we could be HOLY as He is holy.
It’s a sacred, submissive and sacrificial vow we make with Them (Father, Son and Holy Spirit) in order that we might be Born Again into new life in Him, guided by His wisdom, seeking His will, listening for divine understanding to His blessed word and walking day by day in attempts to glorify Him in all we do. What an amazing God we serve! These bodies are temporal and yet He endows us with amazing, unique abilities, creativities and ‘power’ as we are “made in His image.”
When we begin to imagine how incredible it is that EVERY person throughout history has had unique features (fingerprints, iris patterns, voices, etc.) how can we NOT be madly in LOVE with this great God of ours who seeks to walk with us, to use the talents He’s endowed us with, to seek His wondrous ways in all things and to do all we can HERE so that the eternal life we share with Him, and His Bride, will be one of continual discovery, euphoria of love and eternal JOY!
We are blessed of all in that we share with Him NOW and in this life, not only in the one to come. FEEL THE GRACE and LIVE YOUR LIFE IN HIM, now and always! Gina
(Copied from email)
Wow! I've noticed that I am happiest when I am doing something for my wife to prove to her that I love her and that she matters to me. For instance, I didn't have to buy those pearl earrings for my wife. But I did! And she was pleased with them. She wore them immediately, and that pleased me. We were both happy.
And how happy I am when I contemplate what Christ did for me on the cross and set me free from the pain and the power of sin. And I will get to enjoy that forever. Remember that song, "Joy is the flag flown high from the castle of my heart when the King is in residence there."
Ed
Obedience to revealed truth guarantees guidance in matters unrevealed. Greg Laurie
(Copied from email)
Good one! Thanks for sharing.
Lavonne
(Copied from email)
Hey Brother,
My comment is this:
I believe God has assigned the man in the marriage a more extensive submission than the woman. Verse 25 of Eph. 5 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Christian men should gladly accept this role.
So, not only do we submit to each other (c.f., v. 21), but men are called to love (selflessly serve as a verb, as you point out) their wives…to death!
There are lots of men in the church today that want to be served, and not selflessly serve. Yet, we’re called to be Christ-like and resemble this: “even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve” (Matt. 20:28a).
You’re one of my heroes, Ray!
M
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